Thursday, October 30, 2014

Do You Really Know Me?

While I was laying in bed one night, I started thinking about stuff.

I love reading blogs - only those that show the blogger's personality and thoughts.
It's like you are able to tell what they love and what they don't; rather than having a page full of sponsored items and shallow liking towards.. well.. shallow stuff.

Then, I thought about myself.
Yeah. People could be thinking I'm brainlessly shallow as well.

I always think that most of the photos I take are soulless.
I still can't identify the reason behind... (if you think they aren't soulless, please tell me, just in case it's only in my head)

Even if such, based on my soulless photos, people still think they know me.
I don't think you will ever truly know anyone, even through pictures, blogs, instagram, until you talk to the person. And even that will only give you bout 1% of what the person is really like.

Human beings are selective and judgmental. We choose the side of us we want to show, and who we want to show ourselves to. Similarly, we choose what we want to see on people.

I know I behave differently, with different people.
I wasn't like that back then, as far as I can remember.
I was more genuine, more real, more naive, more positive about the future.
I was happy being myself, and proud of being who I really was.
I wrote everything on my blog, my raw thoughts, my ideas, my feelings; until I "grow up" for the better or worse, I realize that I felt uncomfortable with people knowing too much about me.
Maybe it's because everyone is so well connected now, with only a click; things can really go cray in a minute.

That is why I'm closing it off bit by bit; because back then people don't have that many sources to "know" people -  it might not be real, but they think they know.

And these are what makes people (me, at least), as a person, to be more careful, because things that you portray on social media, tend to reflect and affect you, in real life.
There are benefits, definitely, but also an unpredictable amount of downsides.

The whole reason I started blogging about 9 years ago is because I know my memory for certain things are short termed, and I would want somewhere I can go back and read about myself maybe 20 years down the road.
But now I realize that even if I read the old blog posts that I wrote in the recent 1 year, all I will be seeing are just pictures and nothing else.

When I started working, I realized that the people at work, they know nothing about me (but they do think they know a lot). Nothing other than what I tell them, and what I post online. My opinion is that working adults tend to be more judgmental than school mates.
Then it gets funny because people's perception and description of you vary so much.
Sometimes, after work, all I can think of is going home, going back to people who really know and accept me for who I am.

And I know that I can't be bothered, I should never, the person who I'm really accountable for is myself. I kept telling myself that being happy is the most important thing, and it really is. But there is a fine line there, when I stop caring about other people and what they think, I become overly self-centered.

When we were little, in school, being teenagers, we think that life is going to turn out what we expect it to be. There was hope. As if when you score well in your studies, your life will be easy, you will have a stable income, a husband who loves you, and a happy family.

Now, it's starting to sink in that, for the rest of my life, I will be working, earning money, to earn to live to sustain. That's really a depressing goal, to be honest.
I can't even believe that I have been working for more than a year now.
I have more responsibilities now - it's not that I'm afraid of them.
But just, what if, what if this is what is going to be for the rest of my life.
And I'm only 23. lol.

I don't have a conclusion for this post. It's something worth thinking about, and what I think about a lot nowadays.

Could it be that I have be single for too long? Hahaha
I think life is more livable if there is a partner. But then again, this might be just like the little hope we all had when we were in school. Who knows?

Nevertheless, if you are my prince, and you are reading this right now, please do save me from my soulless life.
And my step one for now is, to be more like myself, and happy about being myself, so I wouldn't be lost between who I am and who I'm trying so hard to be.

Saturday, October 25, 2014

Love, Rosie (Movie)

No spoilers below, don't worry.

While my feelings and memory are still fresh from the movie, I want to urge you to go watch this show like immediately!

It did not disappoint me at all; there were changes from the book here and there, but it's for the better.. (Although I did hope they incorporate The Silence that happened into the movie as well...)

In the movie, we were showed briefly throughout their lives, how they intertwined, how misunderstandings happen, how and why things happen at the wrong time.
It's relate-able. It was so touching :'(
I have always wanted a soul mate-like-ish person to be in my lives. I believe it's something real and happening out there. Like you know this person from when you were a kid until you grow up and you realized he's the perfect person. But nope, I guess it's too late for me to happen now. haha

Back to the topic,
Who wouldn't love to have an Alex in their lives?
Though a more courageous Alex would be preferred..

One thing I want to say is that, Sam Claflin and Lily Collins both did amazing jobs in portraying the character. Sam Claflin is Alex, literally. Kudos to the person who casted him. I can't think of anyone else to be more Alex than Sam. (Those dimples ahhh)

Lily is smart, cute, girly soft and yet can be boyish and quirky, which fits Rosie perfectly.
Her accent keeps reminding me of Emma Watson but I don't think Emma would be a good Rosie.

The Riot Club and Mortal Instruments need to be released asap. Because I need to see more of these two awesome people!

The movie is out for only a day, hence explains the lack of gifs on tumblr.
However, I did add some eye candy bonuses below from their photoshoot <3

Lily Collins at the Roma Cinema Festival 2014 in Elie Saab Spring 2014 Couture. I recognized the colours almost immediately. How can I not love her!