Thursday, June 05, 2014


My lack of updates have a lot to do with me having nothing to blog about/ or nothing I can write about publicly. Sensing the emotional tone? Nah, just fooling with you.

Whenever I don't know what to blog about, I type a word in point forms and eventually the words and points keep flowing. That's also why I write super long essays in high school and write them really fast. What a chatterbox I am -.-

So, let's try.

1. Old. 

I'm not exactly 'allowed' to say that I'm old at work. Because apart from the interns, I'm the youngest along with a few of my juniors. But the thing is, I do mentally feel old. I think I have aged probably 2 years since I started working, been working close to 10 months now.

The thing is, work changes you. The environment, the people, for the better or for the worse.
(also, the most unexpected work change is I actually learned a lot of excel tips and tricks compared to 10 months ago)

It's so easy to feel lost in what you are doing and you have to pick yourself back up again, to realign the goals. And it's not easy.
I'm not sure what is it like working elsewhere, or working as a normal employee.
FDP feels like ANTM sometimes, minus the ANTM house.
I'm not saying it's bad, there are endless opportunities, there are good people, there are so much to learn and I love that part about it. But with all these opportunities, comes stress.
Stress level is crazy high. And people's expectation is probably the second highest stress level possible.
First stress level? The stress from myself. Because I'm the kind of person who never want to feel sorry for myself. Meaning that, I will not let me blame myself for something I did or didn't do. (omg signs of highly sensitive people)

Very often, I find myself having to overcome my own stress, find comfort in little things, enjoy the fun little stuff at work. Thank god this place is like an open environment with a lot of fun activities occasionally. Thank god there are also super chillax batchmates with me to mock me whenever I'm gila stressful.

To be honest, in school in college, despite having to study a lot, it wasn't this stressful. Really.
Most times, I feel like I need to grow up fast, real fast, in order to be capable of handling this adult world.
But sometimes, don't we all just wanna stay a little younger?

2. Travelling

On the funny side, you would think that since I'm so stressed out, I would probably jump at every opportunity to take a vacation here and there.
But no, lol.
All of them took vacations, getaways except me.
I will finally have my first annual leave taken for a real super short nearby vacation next week.
But not solely for myself. You will know why later when I blog about it. haha

What's the problem with me? haha I whine so much about holidaying but I don't do anything about it.
Partly also because, I want to save the money to go faraway places, instead of go to short getaways here and there. So it's harder to plan.

And with our exams every month, it's almost impossible.
August though, anyone wants to go anywhere with me during the hot summer August? :|

On a happier note though, I will be going to Bangalore, India in July for our Development Week, will be going to Taj Mahal after that and then Singapore :D Somewhat excited yet fingers crossed that I don't fall sick for whatever reasons in India.
We even joked about all of us getting kidnapped and getting our organs sold while going to Taj Mahal by tour.
Okay, I'm probably even more excited about staying at the 5 stars luxurious hotels having the room all to myself. lol lol. Trust me, hotels are definitely one of the highlights during business trips. hahaha

3. Happiness

Omg, I hope this doesn't go too depressed.
But I have been thinking a lot recently.
Sometimes, we work a lot, we work so hard, on so many things, not only our career, basically everything, and are we happy?
I see a lot of friends around me, everyone having issues and problems of their own.
Since when did happiness became so hard to come by?
I don't even remember being stressed and not happy in high school, and that time we thought our problems were the end of the world. gosh.
Probably adulthood I'm not sure. But life is sure as hell crazy. haha

So, I focus on doing the things I like, no matter what others say. Like how they mock my Kpop songs and korean dramas. How they say girls aren't supposed to play Dota? hahahhaa
But I'm pretty good at doing my own thing though, because I'm stubborn. And what you say doesn't really matter unless I care about you. (mean girl alert. oops)

4. Watches

Okay, I'm going into the materialism topic now.
Recently, Daniel Wellington watches are really making me drooling for a new watch.
But really? DW? Why you want to charge 200USD for such a flat and simple watch.
I would rather buy Michael Kors with 200USD, hands down.

Speaking about MK.
My dear MK watch, I'm sorry I don't wear you much, because I'm forever worrying about accidentally smashing you into the wall or the tables T_T
So nowadays I either wear my Kenneth Coles or two of my super cheap plain brown and black watches.

I would love to continue, but I will be off watching Jessica and Krystal's reality show.
Can't believe I wrote so much. LOL.
See, I told you from one word, I can literally write essays.

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